Oh and even though you are having harmful ideation and things like that, the fact you admit to them and also admit to needing to get help is great. You really have done a lot of work on yourself this summer (it may not feel like it, but how you respond to things and how you talk about yourself has changed drastically) and I know Drak and I (and Ardy) are quite proud of you for that.

Like, it's ok to stumble a bit. There's a lot of shadow monsters in our psyche. But you are confronting them, and that is really really good.