Being an Aro-Ace
Oct. 30th, 2012 09:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jynx_tsilevonHere I go again, feeling guilty for exisitng.
I guess I get points for trying. I mean, I've done the dating, boyfriend, almost girlfriend thing, but I never felt anything. No romantic attraction, no wanting to be nearer to the other, no bit of lust or spark or anything.
Always marked it up to being a prude, and moved on.
I know that, now, I fall under the non-repulsed Asexual category. I also believe I'm an Aromantic, but the jury is still out on that.
Thus, Aro-Ace
Most of the time, I don't mind.
Right now it sucks.
It's that moment when I wish I could feel something classified as romantic love for another person. Or feel anything over friendship.
I don't know why I'm feeling this right now. Most of the time, I like my little corner of relationship relative non-drama. Maybe it's because I think I have two guys interested in me again. And it's not like Asexuality or Aromanticism comes up in everyday conversation.
I'm lucky because one of the guys figured out something about me wasn't right because he's like "you don't date, do you?" Not in the pressing sort of way. But he sounded sad. I think if I'd ever get my synapses in order or whatever controls this romantic and sexual attraction to things, and would start dating, he'd probably be first in line.
He's a great guy.
I notice this happens to a lot of great guys I meet. Or girls, or whatever. And I feel really bad.
Cheesy as it is, I do believe that soul mates exist and are tied together by a red string. I just think mine was severed so I could help other people find happiness. Thus being an aro-ace. I don't need a red string, but I have all my other strings attaching me to others.
The thing is, red strings sometimes get tangled in my strings. And while I'm untangling them, the other is confused. Because I'm sure I seem like the one that the string is attached to. And I always feel bad, because sometimes they're hopeful that they don't have to go looking for their red string mate anymore.
Sure they're better off when they get started on their search again, but sometimes I wish I could just have a red string to myself. Even though I couldn't reciprocate the feelings and wanted nothing to do with romanticism or stuff like that.
I guess sometimes i just wish I was normal.
But in the meantime, I'll be here with my strings.
I guess I get points for trying. I mean, I've done the dating, boyfriend, almost girlfriend thing, but I never felt anything. No romantic attraction, no wanting to be nearer to the other, no bit of lust or spark or anything.
Always marked it up to being a prude, and moved on.
I know that, now, I fall under the non-repulsed Asexual category. I also believe I'm an Aromantic, but the jury is still out on that.
Thus, Aro-Ace
Most of the time, I don't mind.
Right now it sucks.
It's that moment when I wish I could feel something classified as romantic love for another person. Or feel anything over friendship.
I don't know why I'm feeling this right now. Most of the time, I like my little corner of relationship relative non-drama. Maybe it's because I think I have two guys interested in me again. And it's not like Asexuality or Aromanticism comes up in everyday conversation.
I'm lucky because one of the guys figured out something about me wasn't right because he's like "you don't date, do you?" Not in the pressing sort of way. But he sounded sad. I think if I'd ever get my synapses in order or whatever controls this romantic and sexual attraction to things, and would start dating, he'd probably be first in line.
He's a great guy.
I notice this happens to a lot of great guys I meet. Or girls, or whatever. And I feel really bad.
Cheesy as it is, I do believe that soul mates exist and are tied together by a red string. I just think mine was severed so I could help other people find happiness. Thus being an aro-ace. I don't need a red string, but I have all my other strings attaching me to others.
The thing is, red strings sometimes get tangled in my strings. And while I'm untangling them, the other is confused. Because I'm sure I seem like the one that the string is attached to. And I always feel bad, because sometimes they're hopeful that they don't have to go looking for their red string mate anymore.
Sure they're better off when they get started on their search again, but sometimes I wish I could just have a red string to myself. Even though I couldn't reciprocate the feelings and wanted nothing to do with romanticism or stuff like that.
I guess sometimes i just wish I was normal.
But in the meantime, I'll be here with my strings.
