It's only Monday
Dec. 3rd, 2012 11:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jynx_tsilevonI just wanted to have fun. I didn't know what to do, so I left. Stubbornness made it so I couldn't go back.
I know you're all having fun.
Today was a long day. I applied for internships, set up an appointment to get my teeth ripped out, took a make up exam, finished one of two final projects, and then learned a dear friend of mine was in a car accident.
She's fine. Thank God(or whatever deity/thing/whatever you believe or don't in). Keep her in your thoughts (and prayers, for those of you who do), please. She's banged up and bruised and her car is gone for good but when I called her tonight she was more worried about finding the scarf she'd made me than her condition, so she's fairly normal.
And then this gets really petty. I'm okay if you stop reading now and go on your way, thinking about my friend and sending her good vibes...
One of my friends, Z, came in while I was talking to her on the phone. Z listened and offered hugs after I explained the situation to him. He decided to get me out of my room and so we went to a local cafe for a bit. Then we went back to his room (he lives two floors below me) to play some video games.
Well, we had to make avatars. It started off alright, Kait went first and made hers. While she was doing that, I went back to my room to get Bluburt, a purplish-blue triceratops, and my roommate, because we were going to make them avatars too.
The problem was that the avatars only had a male and female option, and I voiced that I didn't know which one to pick. At first, Z's roommate went "yeah there's no hedgehog option!" so we joked about that. But then, I still didn't know which option so this happened:
Z: "You're female."
Me: "No, I'm not."
Roomie: "Well, biologically..."
Me: "But I'm not female."
Z: "Just because you're Ace doesn't mean you're not female."
Me:"But I'm gender neutral."
*Looks from Kait, Z, and Roomie*
Z: "Do you have a vagina? What about a Y chromosome?"
Kait: "Even better, do you have your period?"
Me: "But I'm not..."
I couldn't find the words to explain so I left. I grabbed my things, told them all to have a wonderful evening, and left. Yes I was crying. I'm pissed that I was. But it hurt.
I guess I should have just picked the female option and gotten over it, but...
I didn't get a chance to play video games with my friends. They called after me once when I left, but no one followed. If Colleen hadn't been in my room when I came up, I don't think I would have stopped crying.
Colleen had good advice. It's strange to me that she's the one who accepted me right away, but I'm sure that I'm not the weirdest thing she's met. She told me they wouldn't understand if I didn't explain, that they can't see what's in my head. She's right. But it seemed to me (and possibly because my emotions are running high today) that they didn't want to listen.
All I wanted to do tonight was play some games and have some fun for a bit. I guess I can't even have that.
I know you're all having fun.
Today was a long day. I applied for internships, set up an appointment to get my teeth ripped out, took a make up exam, finished one of two final projects, and then learned a dear friend of mine was in a car accident.
She's fine. Thank God(or whatever deity/thing/whatever you believe or don't in). Keep her in your thoughts (and prayers, for those of you who do), please. She's banged up and bruised and her car is gone for good but when I called her tonight she was more worried about finding the scarf she'd made me than her condition, so she's fairly normal.
And then this gets really petty. I'm okay if you stop reading now and go on your way, thinking about my friend and sending her good vibes...
One of my friends, Z, came in while I was talking to her on the phone. Z listened and offered hugs after I explained the situation to him. He decided to get me out of my room and so we went to a local cafe for a bit. Then we went back to his room (he lives two floors below me) to play some video games.
Well, we had to make avatars. It started off alright, Kait went first and made hers. While she was doing that, I went back to my room to get Bluburt, a purplish-blue triceratops, and my roommate, because we were going to make them avatars too.
The problem was that the avatars only had a male and female option, and I voiced that I didn't know which one to pick. At first, Z's roommate went "yeah there's no hedgehog option!" so we joked about that. But then, I still didn't know which option so this happened:
Z: "You're female."
Me: "No, I'm not."
Roomie: "Well, biologically..."
Me: "But I'm not female."
Z: "Just because you're Ace doesn't mean you're not female."
Me:"But I'm gender neutral."
*Looks from Kait, Z, and Roomie*
Z: "Do you have a vagina? What about a Y chromosome?"
Kait: "Even better, do you have your period?"
Me: "But I'm not..."
I couldn't find the words to explain so I left. I grabbed my things, told them all to have a wonderful evening, and left. Yes I was crying. I'm pissed that I was. But it hurt.
I guess I should have just picked the female option and gotten over it, but...
I didn't get a chance to play video games with my friends. They called after me once when I left, but no one followed. If Colleen hadn't been in my room when I came up, I don't think I would have stopped crying.
Colleen had good advice. It's strange to me that she's the one who accepted me right away, but I'm sure that I'm not the weirdest thing she's met. She told me they wouldn't understand if I didn't explain, that they can't see what's in my head. She's right. But it seemed to me (and possibly because my emotions are running high today) that they didn't want to listen.
All I wanted to do tonight was play some games and have some fun for a bit. I guess I can't even have that.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 02:04 pm (UTC)That's not petty.
They're being kind of petty butI'm sorry you had to deal with that.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 02:39 pm (UTC)On the flip side, I learned that the women's studies class on campus covers issues like this in depth and because of it one of my friends in physics read this and understood.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 03:25 pm (UTC)I'm glad you have some friends who understand, at least. Maybe they can help you with the ones who don't.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 03:41 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you had to go through that. My suggestion for future times for when you have to do character creation and they force you to chose a gender, invent a story concept behind the avatar and work with that. You don't even have to tell the others. Hell, you can base it off a character that you're already familiar with. That's what I often do when I do character creation.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 03:45 pm (UTC)That's a good idea, and thank you. I know my avatar for xbox is named Jynx, and even though it's a "female" option, she's cosplaying Kid from Bastion so it all works out.
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-04 04:38 pm (UTC)