I want things to be better

[jynx_tsilevon]

I'm going to a Con where I will see Pack Leader again. (Same Pack Leader I complain about a lot on Tumblr. If you want the full story, message me.)

Thing is, I can't wait to see him! 'Cause I miss him, and it's been two years! Almost...since things started falling to pieces. And he wants to see me!

However Owl can't get within like... 10 feet of him.

While he understands there will be times that we cross paths on accident--this is a big con, though, so it's not like it'll be a common occurrence--Pack Leader has specifically asked that if I come to hang out, Owl does not. Pack Leader and his girl friend want nothing to do with Owl anymore.

That fucking pisses me off. It breaks me into like eighteen pieces of loathing and sadness. But I also understand.

I kept thinking we'd all be able to be friends again. I kept holding out. But I know it's not the case. And whatever, I can make sure that we all don't cross paths. I probably won't hang out with Pack Leader as much as I wanted to, but that's fine.

I wish Owl and Pack Leader could talk again. I feel like--even if thy wouldn't be friends--they could get past this stage they're in now. Owl wants things to be fixed, but he now believes it is impossible. And well...

Pack Leader and I could compete for who is most stubborn.

I just...half the reason this Con is so stressful for me is the fact that I will always be torn between two groups. One that likes me and Owl, and one that likes me but hates Owl.

And that's just going to be a nightmare. Because I can't let Owl notice I'm stressed, or he'll try to fix it.

And I don't want to be alone for the whole Con if he thinks "fixing it" means "going somewhere so Jynx can hang with people without me."

Growing up is about learning to deal with complex interpersonal conflict outside of your control.
Or it certainly seems like it.

Comments

[whitemage]

Sometimes growing up is more like stepping away from people who can't deal with the important people in your life.

Whatever has happened between them, for a "friend" of yours to not approve of Owl who is supportive and loving towards you is kind of just not right.

I really understand wanting to hope against hope that you can keep being friends with this person.

But if he can't accept Owl who you want as a big part of your life, how can he accept you?

Maybe that sounds harsh, but I would honestly let go of him. Owl is good for you. People who make ultimatums on your friendship are not.

[novel_machinist]

I agree with whitemage. If this person can't accept and just BE CIVIL with your partner than he obviously doesn't care about YOUR comfort all that much.

This isn't your problem to fix, Jynxie. It simply isn't. This is a grownup who has made the choice to act poorly. The consequence is that he isn't going to see you. You could easily make the same request of him if you wanted to be a jerk "Well, since you can't get along with Owl, I'd love to hang out, but PL can't be there".

What he's asking of you is ridiculous, wrong and above all else RUDE.

Don't be torn, hang out with the friends that love and accept you AND your partner. Enjoy yourself!

[wandererriha]

Thirded.

This kind of "you can sit at our lunch table but THEY CAN'T" malarkey is for third graders.

You and Owl are a package deal, and they need to understand that.

Being an Adult is about sucking it up and being civil and handling differences/disagreements/whatever in a way that is not harmful to people you care about. They need to figure this out- you've already got it down. ;}

So yeah. I'm not sure what else you could do except maybe schedule time to visit in a way that is amenable to both parties, or just be like Drak said: "well I'd LOVE to see you BUT..."

<3 You'll get it sorted.